My Husband, Part 1 of Gratefulness

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Change often leads to wonderful things.

I found him one morning at around 5:45. The two of us were alone in the elevator going to the 4th floor. I couldn’t stop staring at his pulsing jaw and wondering what had made him so angry.

Neither of us said a word. In fact, I’m pretty sure he was alone for the ride. I often wondered if I was invisible.

It was Winter and the air cut through my skin in a way that only Midwestern know.¬† My heels were loud on the parking lot making their presence known against the asphalt and the cold dark morning. I was looking for the angry man. I couldn’t stop myself from seeking out his impassioned marrow.

Days went by of being alone with this newly found excitement. I think he may have looked at me once. His jaw, always pulsing.

I parked my car one morning in a different spot. I was always so predictable and this made me feel secure again. There he was walking by and I was unnoticed. Invisible once again. My sense of cover was shattered when I realized the angry man seemed to be searching for me. His pace slowed, he looked left and right. The very fact that this excited me made me wonder if I should wear my cloak again.

He should have already been long gone; yet there he was waiting, ready to ride the 4 floors with me. We were alone again. Is it possible that I have found fate?

I was the first to utter a word.

I said good morning to the pulsing jaw. It seemed to relax as it answered back. Somehow in the months to follow as Winter thawed into Spring, I started to learn that the anger came from tours in Iraq and Afghanistan.

His jaw was starting to become more relaxed with each passing day.

My angry little bird turned from missile to feathered fowl. He was soft to the touch and soothing to my soul.