It’s Only Freaking June, People


JANUARY:

 
My father was in a psychiatric ward for three and a half weeks in which I went every night to see him, with the exception of missing three nights because…

My Aunt committed suicide

Went 7 hours away to support my mother and had to ID my Aunt.

FEBRUARY :

Hell I could be wrong, but I believe this is the month one of my best friend’s father had a really bad stroke. 

Skin cancer removed from my nose for a second time. 

Grieving. Anger approaching.

MARCH:

My dad started saying angry things to me about his situation and seemed to be blaming me for moving him into my home.
Made a trip to go through my Aunt’s home and personal items. Ugh.

Tubes tied!

My Aunt’s boyfriend had a very horrible accident in a logging truck and was pronounced brain dead. No family, so now we’ve got his things to contend with.

Feeling guilty, still grieving. 

APRIL: 

My anxiety is getting really out of whack. Counselor, hated her. Another, hated him.

My anxiety ridden son actually went to prom when asked to go. Finally a good thing. 

Found a counselor I really love.

Discovered we have a $5,000.00 medical bill our insurance isn’t going to pay for because it’s for my husband’s back. He hurt his back jumping out of a helicopter years ago, so they say it’s service connected and won’t pay it.

While visiting home , my step-father had a pretty bad heart attack after dinner. 

Grieving, angry, feeling frustrated.

MAY:  

My son’s anxiety is turning into depression. I have so much worry about him. My spouse and I are not getting along too well. We have stress? You think? He begins to come to my counseling sessions for support. 

My daughter’s car door handle fell off on the passenger side. The trunk won’t open either. 

My dad keeps acting like he’s got something to say, but he won’t say it. Finally told me he wants to move back to his house. Oh my gosh, I just can’t keep up with all of this. I quit my job to take care of him. Granted I do get money from his trustee out of his funds to help for the absence of pay, but I left a GOOD job that I’m probably never going to find again.

 My daughter graduated high school. She keeps talking about moving in with her boyfriend of three years.

 Ahhhh. Stress. I’m still grieving. I feel like I’m on a nightmare roller coaster.

JUNE: My daughter’s driver side door handle fell off. Laugh. Just laugh. 

Our Toyota died. Hysterical laughing. 

Dad treats me like a servant and all my repressed anger about being left out of the family farm corporation is building up inside me. Did my grandparents leave me out of it because I’m a female or because their son adopted me and they refuse me as blood? They’re dead and all the men in my family run the show. The shit show. None of them even speak to each other. Oh and grandma and grandpa if you’re watching down on us…. look who’s taking care of your precious bipolar son. The woman, not related to you by blood. 

Daughter’s boyfriend breaks up with her.

Son is bad, real bad. Hospital time. Someone get this kid on the right medicine. I love him so so so much. We need to move back to where we moved from because that’s the one thing we know for sure we could do to help our son be happier.

Husband stabs himself accidentally in the bicep. Yep. He was at work, I did not do it.

Oh Mr. Loan officer, you say I can’t use my trust income for the mortgage loan and so we can only use my husband’s income to buy a four bedroom home we need in order to fit us all??? FRACK.

My mother. She’s in pain both physically and emotionally and I can’t save her.

Ring…. Ring…. insurance hasn’t paid any of your counseling bills and they aren’t going to because of blah blah blah.

Ex husband modifies child support because daughter graduated and instead of 7% less he made it for 57% less and the freaking judge signed off on it so now I have to contest everyone’s stupidity.

Husband has stitches removed and was told he has to see an ortho surgeon because he’s more than likely sliced his muscle. 

Husband’s father looks like he’s having a stroke only it’s not, it’s a brain tumor. Brain surgery on Monday.

Worry. That’s number one right now, worry. Anger, grief and my own anxiety need to all get in the back seat and shut the F up. 

Panic attack, husband soothes me to the point of getting it under control. Kisses my forehead and lays down next to me. We tightened our interlaced fingers together and I say, I feel closer to you and he whispers back, so do I.

Locked keys in car along with spare.

Husband’s father has brain surgery. The tumor is malignant. 

JULY: BRING IT!