My father died once. No really… he did. He committed suicide. I received the phone call at work one afternoon 5 years ago, that he had passed away. Thirteen minutes later I received another call saying he had made it after one last shock. My father is still at risk. My Uncle Dennis died by suicide. Now my Aunt Tammie. I have called 911 myself on two people due to suicidal threats. I myself have spiraled into a dark place once upon a time after my son was born.
Why am I being open about all of this? Because you matter and there’s always ALWAYS another alternative to death…Because someone reading this is probably depressed. Reach out to someone. I’m available anytime.
I’m struggling a little with the fact that I’m already angry about my Aunt’s suicide death last week. I still cry when I think about it, but I’m leaning more towards anger now.
This was not her first time to attempt and statistically speaking, she had the odds against her. However, I didn’t really realize that.
She had a history of sending a Manila envelope full of instructions upon her passing. The person that received it in August just thought she was getting her affairs in order. I was scrolling through her Facebook page and although this photo is from 2011 not 2017, my heart sank. My face filled with rushing red shame.
Level of Suicide Risk
Low – Some suicidal thoughts. No suicide plan. Says he or she won’t attempt suicide.
Moderate – Suicidal thoughts. Vague plan that isn’t very lethal. Says he or she won’t attempt suicide.
High – Suicidal thoughts. Specific plan that is highly lethal. Says he or she won’t attempt suicide.
Severe – Suicidal thoughts. Specific plan that is highly lethal. Says he or she will attempt suicide.