It’s Been Awhile

I haven’t been writing because things have been a bit hectic. First, the good news. My father’s pet scan came back clear! No cancer. What a relief it has been to throw that one off the table.

I’ve recently had to undergo surgery, which has set me back. It has knocked me down way more than I expected it to. Today is the first morning, in awhile, that I’ve felt pretty normal. We shall see once the pain medication wears thin.

My father has slowed down so much, that in fact, there’s not much to write about. He’s stopped listening to Toby Keith. He’s stopped listening to music in general. We set up his room with his huge flat screen and he’s like a teenager. He’s always in his room unless I have food on the table, then he is at the table. Otherwise, I find myself kind of bored with this side of my father. That’s bizarre to say, but I miss the father that kept me guessing.

Right before Christmas he is scheduled to have skin cancer removed with the MOHS surgery and immediately following we will be at the hospital for reconstruction. I’m pretty worried that this nose cancer ordeal will set him back pretty far. He’s refusing to take his medicine that keeps him from spiraling down, but hell I can’t blame him. There’s such a dietary constricting aspect to this medicine. He’s pretty much got T.V. and pizza.

His memory concerns me. I find myself in an eternal loop of “yes, today is Monday” or “no, we’ve not had Christmas yet.” This is maddening and very sad. Let’s do a puzzle. Let’s do something!!!  He still smiles and he still loves his room. He is super sweet and has been so kind to me after my surgery. Today I’m going to ask him to help me with laundry. Today he will feel needed for a moment and I guess if anything, that’s worth something.

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