Now and Possibly Never

I’m not sure where to begin. I’ve decided perhaps just starting with right now makes the most sense.

I’m sitting on my back porch and I’ve been here since 5:00 this morning. Drinking coffee and contemplating how in the hell I am going to conquer this day.

Right now my husband is in the hospital due to having sinus surgery, so I have to pick him up later this morning. I have to bring him home and spend the rest of this week taking care of him.

Meanwhile, my father is in the midst of going manic. I spent two hours on the phone with him last night listening to him speak about how he was the best coal mining supervisor that ever lived on the planet Earth. I have heard these stories a million times in my 44 years of life.  The advantage to this is that I can do other things while he’s talking and at any given point when he asks me if I’m listening, I can repeat his last sentence. I know what was said, what’s coming… It’s never a different story.

Why do I sit on the phone for two hours and listen to his manic rants? I do it because I’m three hours away, I have two teenagers needing dinner and a husband in the hospital I need to be near. I’m mostly doing it because I know where my father is. He’s on the phone with me. He’s not out. He’s not flying to Belize. He’s not in his back yard trying to yield Noah’s Arc. He had my full attention and that’s all he needs right now.

The last thing my father said to me last night was, “you know in that one movie with Harrison Ford where the guy says to him are you ever really sure of anything? Harrison Ford says back to him, yes…. A daughter’s love”.

4 thoughts on “Now and Possibly Never

  1. Ah Channey, beautifully said & your love for your Dad matches his for you. He loves you very much & would gladly give his life for yours. He has his problems, as many of us do which we struggle with each and everyday.


  2. Very touching story. It can be a tough thing dealing with family with any form of disability especially when it’s your parent. I can relate my mother survivors from clinical depression for more than 20 years. It was a tought pill to swollow but you know what that is my mother. I have and will be there for her as best as I can. But I also had to realized I needed to make time for me and other obligations. It was stressful totry and balance things out but my friend it is doable. You keep pushing and know you have a fellow blogger to assist in anyway I can.


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